Navigating Submission in Marriage: Dealing with Abuse

Submission in Marriage: Dealing with Abuse

Submission in marriage is a topic that can be quite contentious and complex, especially when it intersects with the issue of abuse. In this article, we will explore what a wife's submission to her husband should look like in the context of abuse, providing biblical insights and practical guidance. We will also address the role of law enforcement and the church in protecting and supporting victims of abuse.

1. Seeking Wisdom in Complex Situations

When it comes to submission in marriage, it is important to approach the topic with wisdom and discernment. As Christians, we are called to submit to various authorities, including parents, government, employers, and church leaders. However, this submission is always secondary to our ultimate submission to Jesus Christ. Therefore, when the concept of submission clashes with the presence of abuse, we must seek God's wisdom to navigate these complex situations.

2. Recognizing the Disobedience of an Abusive Husband

The Bible is clear in its instruction for husbands to love and cherish their wives. Colossians 3:19 exhorts husbands not to be harsh with their wives, while Ephesians 5:28-29 emphasizes the importance of nourishing and cherishing them. The ultimate example of Christlike love for husbands is found in Ephesians 5:25, where they are called to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.

It is crucial to understand that an abusive husband is disobeying God's commands. By inflicting harm or threatening violence, he is breaking both God's moral law and the civil law. In this context, the wife should not feel obligated to endure the abuse silently. Instead, she has the right to seek help and protection from the church and the authorities.

3. The Role of Civil Recourse

In cases of abuse, seeking help from law enforcement may be necessary and appropriate. In many jurisdictions, threats or intentional harm against a spouse or family member are considered criminal offenses. By involving the authorities, a wife is not only standing up against her husband's abuse but also upholding the laws that exist to protect the innocent. Romans 13:4 reminds us that law enforcement officers are God's servants, carrying out His wrath on wrongdoers.

4. The Church's Responsibility

The church has a crucial role to play in addressing and preventing abuse within marriages. It is essential that the church does not harbor or enable abusers, but rather takes a stance against their actions. As followers of Christ, we are called to show mercy and compassion, but we must also recognize the need for justice. This is especially true when it comes to criminal abuse. The church should support and protect victims, ensuring they have access to spiritual and practical help.

5. Providing a Supportive Community

No Christian should face abuse alone. It is vital for individuals within the church to create a safe and supportive environment for those experiencing abuse. This includes both men and women who can offer guidance, prayer, and practical assistance. By coming alongside the victim, we can help them find the strength and resources to address the abuse and seek healing.

6. The Biblical Basis for Escaping Abuse

While turning the other cheek is often seen as the Christian response to persecution, it is not the only path of love available to victims of abuse. Jesus' words in Matthew 5:39 describe one way of displaying love, demonstrating that we do not seek revenge because Christ is sufficient for us. However, there are instances in the Bible where fleeing from persecution is also endorsed. The stories of Moses, David, Jeremiah, and even Jesus Himself demonstrate that there are times when escape is a legitimate and necessary response to abuse.

7. Provision and Protection

James 1:27 calls Christians to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, highlighting the need for provision and protection for the vulnerable. In the context of abusive marriages, this verse implies that it is our responsibility to ensure the safety and well-being of those experiencing abuse. We must actively intervene to break the cycle of injustice and create a space where victims can find refuge and support.

In conclusion, the issue of submission in marriage becomes particularly challenging when abuse is present. It is essential to approach these situations with wisdom, seeking guidance from God's Word and the support of the church community. While submission is a biblical concept, it should never be used as a justification for abuse. Instead, we are called to protect the vulnerable, support victims, and, when necessary, involve the appropriate authorities. By embodying Christ's love and compassion, we can help bring healing and restoration to those affected by abuse.