Men's Discipleship: Beyond Spiritual Disciplines & Sexual Purity

Men's Discipleship: More Than Just Sexual Purity

As a Christian, I believe that discipleship is the process of becoming more like Christ. It involves growing in spiritual maturity, developing a deeper understanding of God's Word, and learning to live according to his will. As a man, I also know how difficult it can be to navigate the challenges of life while striving to be the kind of man God has called us to be.

Unfortunately, many men's discipleship groups focus almost exclusively on two things: encouraging spiritual disciplines and checking sexual temptation. While these are important aspects of discipleship, they are not the only things that matter. If we want to see men grow into mature, godly leaders, we need to broaden our understanding of what it means to disciple men.

The Problem with Low Expectations

For many years, I was a part of men's discipleship groups that focused primarily on accountability for Bible reading and pornography. While these are important issues, the message that was communicated to me over time was that spiritual maturity was simply a matter of checking these boxes. This is a dangerous and misguided approach to discipleship that sets a very low bar for men.

When we focus only on encouraging spiritual disciplines and sexual purity, we inadvertently train men to be lazy, selfish, and insecure. We also fail to equip them to lead and serve others in the church and in the world. In short, we raise a generation of men who are content to check spiritual boxes but who lack the courage, compassion, and commitment to make a real difference in the world.

The Call to Discipleship

The Bible is clear that discipleship is not simply a matter of checking boxes or avoiding sin. Jesus calls us to follow him, to learn from him, and to become like him. This involves a lifetime of growth, learning, and transformation.

In Matthew 4:19, Jesus says to his disciples, "Come, follow me, and I will make you fishers of men." This is not a call to simply avoid sin or to read our Bibles every day. It is a call to a radical, life-changing commitment to follow Jesus and to become like him.

In John 15:5, Jesus says, "I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." This is a call to abide in Christ, to remain connected to him, and to allow him to transform us from the inside out.

In Romans 12:2, Paul writes, "Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." This is a call to reject the values and priorities of the world and to allow God to renew our minds and transform our hearts.

These passages—and many others like them—make it clear that discipleship is about much more than just spiritual disciplines and sexual purity. It is about following Jesus, abiding in him, and allowing him to transform us into the kind of men he has called us to be.

The Importance of Spiritual Disciplines

None of this is to say that spiritual disciplines are unimportant. In fact, they are essential to our growth and transformation as disciples of Christ. Regular Bible reading, prayer, worship, and fellowship are all vital to our spiritual health and growth.

However, we need to be careful not to reduce discipleship to a checklist of spiritual disciplines. When we do this, we miss the point of discipleship altogether. Spiritual disciplines are not ends in themselves; they are means to an end. The end goal of discipleship is to become more like Christ, to love and serve others as he did, and to make a real difference in the world.

The Importance of Sexual Purity

Likewise, sexual purity is an important aspect of discipleship. Sexual sin can be incredibly destructive and can have long-lasting consequences. However, we need to be careful not to make sexual purity the sole focus of men's discipleship.

When we do this, we send the message that sexual sin is the only sin that really matters. We also fail to address other issues that men may be struggling with, such as anger, pride, or addiction. Ultimately, sexual purity is not an end in itself; it is a means to an end. The end goal of discipleship is to become more like Christ, to love and serve others as he did, and to make a real difference in the world.

Broadening Our Understanding of Discipleship

If we want to see men grow into mature, godly leaders, we need to broaden our understanding of what it means to disciple men. We need to help men understand that discipleship is about following Jesus, abiding in him, and allowing him to transform us into the kind of men he has called us to be.

We also need to help men understand that discipleship is not a one-size-fits-all approach. Every man is different, and every man's journey of discipleship will look different. Some men may struggle more with sexual sin, while others may struggle more with anger or pride. We need to be willing to meet men where they are and help them grow in the areas where they need it most.

Practical Steps for Men's Discipleship

So what does this look like in practice? Here are some practical steps that men's discipleship groups can take to broaden their understanding of discipleship:

1. Focus on Jesus – Make sure that Jesus is at the center of your discipleship group. Encourage men to read the Gospels and to learn from Jesus' example.

2. Emphasize Transformation – Help men understand that the goal of discipleship is transformation, not just accountability for spiritual disciplines or sexual purity.

3. Address the Whole Man – Be willing to address a wide range of issues that men may be struggling with, not just spiritual disciplines and sexual purity.

4. Create a Safe Space – Create an environment where men feel safe to be vulnerable and to share their struggles and challenges.

5. Accountability – Encourage accountability, but make sure that it is focused on growth and transformation, not just checking boxes.

6. Serve Others – Encourage men to serve others in the church and in the community. This will help them develop a heart for others and a desire to make a real difference in the world.

Conclusion

Men's discipleship is about more than just spiritual disciplines and sexual purity. It is about following Jesus, abiding in him, and allowing him to transform us into the kind of men he has called us to be. As we broaden our understanding of discipleship, we will see men grow into mature, godly leaders who are equipped to make a real difference in the world.
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