Love Your Wife Like Jesus Loves Her: A Guide to Christlike Love in Marriage

Love Your Wife Like Jesus Loves Her

Have you ever had a moment in your life where everything changed? A moment where a single realization shifted the course of your existence? For me, that moment came during a Bible study session in the spring of 1998. I was just an 18-year-old college freshman, but what I learned that day about marriage has shaped my life ever since.

I had enrolled in a Bible study called "Preparing for Marriage," led by Pastor Doug Busby. Little did I know that this study would give me an assignment that would consume my attention for the next 22 years, and likely for the rest of my life. Pastor Doug read a verse from the Bible that day, one that is familiar to many: "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church" (Ephesians 5:25). And then he posed a question that struck a chord deep within me: How does Jesus love the church?

Understanding Christlike Love

In that moment, I realized that the love Jesus has for the church is a love that surpasses all human understanding. It is a love that is sacrificial, selfless, and unwavering. It is a love that knows no bounds and seeks the best for the beloved. And it is this same love that husbands are called to have for their wives.

As I delved into the Scriptures and sought to understand how Jesus loves the church, I discovered ten key aspects of Christlike love that have become my lifelong homework. These ten Christlike loves serve as a guide for how I am to love my wife, and I believe they hold true for all husbands who desire to love their wives like Jesus loves them:

1. Sacrificial Love

Jesus demonstrated sacrificial love by willingly laying down His life for the sake of the church (John 15:13). In the same way, husbands are called to sacrificially love their wives, putting their needs and desires above their own.

2. Selfless Love

Jesus exemplified selfless love by humbling Himself and taking on the form of a servant (Philippians 2:5-8). Husbands are likewise called to set aside their own ambitions and pride, serving their wives with humility and grace.

3. Unconditional Love

Jesus loves the church unconditionally, regardless of our flaws and failures (Romans 5:8). Husbands are called to love their wives in the same way, embracing them fully and accepting them for who they are, flaws and all.

4. Faithful Love

Jesus remains faithful to the church even in the face of our unfaithfulness (2 Timothy 2:13). Husbands are called to display unwavering faithfulness to their wives, committing to them for a lifetime and remaining steadfast in their love.

5. Nurturing Love

Jesus cares for the church and nurtures us, providing for our needs and guiding us (John 10:11, Psalm 23:1-3). Husbands are called to nurture and care for their wives, ensuring their emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being.

6. Protective Love

Jesus protects the church from harm and danger, shielding us from the attacks of the enemy (Psalm 91:4). Husbands are called to protect their wives, standing as a shield against any harm that may come their way.

7. Patient Love

Jesus displays incredible patience with the church, bearing with our weaknesses and shortcomings (2 Peter 3:9). Husbands are called to exercise patience with their wives, understanding that none of us are perfect and extending grace and forgiveness.

8. Understanding Love

Jesus understands the deepest desires and needs of the church, empathizing with our struggles and providing comfort (Hebrews 4:15-16). Husbands are called to seek to understand their wives, listening attentively and seeking to meet their emotional, relational, and spiritual needs.

9. Servant Love

Jesus modeled servant leadership by washing the feet of His disciples (John 13:1-17). Husbands are called to lead their wives with a servant's heart, putting their needs above their own and leading by example.

10. Pursuing Love

Jesus relentlessly pursues the church, continually seeking after our hearts (Luke 19:10). Husbands are called to pursue their wives, never ceasing in their efforts to know and love them more deeply.

Living Out Christlike Love

Understanding these ten Christlike loves has been transformative in my marriage. Each day, I strive to love my wife in a way that reflects the love of Jesus for the church. I am far from perfect, but I know that as I seek to embody these qualities of Christlike love, my marriage grows stronger and more fulfilling.

As husbands, it is our responsibility to love our wives as Jesus loves them. This is not a one-time assignment or a temporary project. It is a lifelong commitment that requires daily choices and intentional actions. We must continually ask ourselves, "How can I love my wife today in a way that reflects the love of Jesus?"

Let us be husbands who sacrificially love, selflessly serve, and faithfully commit to our wives. Let us be husbands who nurture, protect, and patiently understand our wives. Let us be husbands who lead with a servant's heart and relentlessly pursue our wives.

May our marriages be a reflection of the love of Christ for His church, a love that is sacrificial, selfless, and unwavering. And may our commitment to love our wives like Jesus loves them be a testament to the enduring power and beauty of Christlike love.