4 Steps to Help Others Change for Good: Avoiding Enabling Behaviors

How to Help Others Change for Good

As Christians, we are called to love and support one another in both the good and the bad times. However, when someone close to us is struggling with sin, we may wonder if our help is aiding or enabling them. It can be challenging to know how to proceed in such a delicate situation.

In this article, we will explore practical steps to take to help someone change for good while avoiding enabling their sinful behavior.

Understanding Our Role

Before we can help someone else, we must first understand our role as Christians. In Galatians 6:2, we read, “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” We are called to support and encourage one another as we navigate life’s challenges.

However, we must also be mindful of our own spiritual well-being. Galatians 6:1 warns us, “Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.” We must be cautious not to be pulled down into temptation ourselves.

Our goal is to help others find freedom from sin and live according to God’s will. In Colossians 3:13, we read, “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” We are called to extend grace and forgiveness to those who are struggling with sin.

Steps to Take

While every situation is unique, there are some general steps we can take to help someone change for good:

1. Pray

Prayer is a powerful tool that we should never underestimate. We should pray for wisdom, discernment, and guidance as we seek to help others. We should also pray for the person who is struggling with sin. Ask God to work in their heart and give them the strength to overcome their struggles.

2. Speak Truth in Love

As Christians, we have a responsibility to speak truth in love (Ephesians 4:15). This means that we must be honest with the person who is struggling with sin, but we must also be kind and compassionate. We should avoid using harsh or judgmental language that could push them away.

When we speak truth in love, we should also be prepared to listen. We should be willing to hear the other person’s perspective and understand their struggles. This will help us to better support them and offer guidance.

3. Offer Practical Help

Depending on the situation, there may be practical ways that we can help the person who is struggling with sin. For example, if someone is struggling with addiction, we could offer to help them find a support group or a counselor. If someone is struggling with financial difficulties, we could offer to help them create a budget or find resources to assist them.

4. Hold Them Accountable

Accountability is a critical component of helping someone change for good. In Galatians 6:5, we read, “For each will have to bear his own load.” While we cannot change someone else’s behavior, we can hold them accountable for their actions.

We should set clear boundaries and expectations, and hold the other person responsible for meeting them. However, we must do so in a spirit of love and grace, rather than judgment.

Avoiding Enabling Behavior

While we want to help others, we must also be mindful of our own behavior. It is possible to unintentionally enable someone’s sinful behavior, which can ultimately hinder their progress. Here are some common enabling behaviors to avoid:

1. Making Excuses for Them

When we make excuses for someone’s sinful behavior, we are essentially giving them permission to continue. We must be honest about the consequences of their actions and encourage them to take responsibility for their behavior.

2. Ignoring the Problem

Ignoring someone’s sin is not loving or helpful. We must be willing to confront sin and encourage the other person to seek help. Ignoring the problem will only allow it to continue and potentially worsen.

3. Enabling Financially

If someone is struggling with financial difficulties, we may be tempted to give them money or pay their bills for them. While this may provide temporary relief, it does not address the underlying problem. We should instead offer practical help and encourage them to seek long-term solutions.

4. Avoiding Confrontation

Confrontation can be uncomfortable, but it is necessary if we want to help others change for good. We must be willing to have difficult conversations and hold others accountable for their behavior. Avoiding confrontation will only enable sinful behavior to continue.

Conclusion

Helping someone change for good is not easy, but it is a critical part of our role as Christians. By praying, speaking truth in love, offering practical help, and holding others accountable, we can support and encourage those who are struggling with sin.

However, we must also be mindful of our own behavior and avoid enabling sinful behavior. By setting clear boundaries and expectations, and avoiding common enabling behaviors, we can help others find freedom from sin and live according to God’s will.

As we navigate this challenging task, we can take comfort in the words of 1 Peter 4:10, “Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.” We have been given the gift of grace, and we can use it to help others find freedom and transformation in Christ.