3 Lies That Can Destroy Your Marriage: Overcoming Them with God's Help

Three Lies That Can Destroy Your Marriage

Marriage is a beautiful union that is meant to last a lifetime. Unfortunately, many couples find themselves struggling to keep their marriage intact. Research shows that more than half of all marriages end in divorce, and the reasons for this are numerous. One major cause of marital breakdown is the belief in lies that can destroy the bond between spouses. These lies are often subtle and insidious, and they can lead to resentment, bitterness, and ultimately, the end of a marriage.

Lie #1: My Spouse Is the Problem

One of the most damaging lies that spouses can believe is that the other person is the problem. This lie can manifest in different ways. For example, a husband might believe that his wife is the cause of all their disagreements, while a wife might think that her husband is the one who needs to change in order for the marriage to work.

However, the truth is that both spouses contribute to the state of their marriage. No one is perfect, and everyone has flaws and weaknesses. Blaming the other person for all the problems in the marriage is not only unfair, but it is also unproductive. It creates a defensive and hostile environment where neither spouse is willing to take responsibility for their actions.

Instead, both spouses should examine their own behavior and attitudes and be willing to make changes where necessary. This requires humility, patience, and a willingness to listen and understand the other person's perspective. As it says in James 1:19, "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry."

Lie #2: My Spouse Should Make Me Happy

Another lie that can harm a marriage is the belief that one's spouse is responsible for making them happy. This lie is often perpetuated by the media and popular culture, which romanticize the idea of finding one's "soulmate" and living happily ever after.

However, the truth is that no human being can fully satisfy another person's emotional needs and desires. Happiness is an inside job, and it is up to each individual to cultivate a positive and grateful attitude towards life. Expecting one's spouse to make them happy puts an unfair burden on the other person and can lead to disappointment and frustration.

Instead, both spouses should focus on loving and serving each other selflessly, without expecting anything in return. This requires a shift in mindset from a self-centered to a Christ-centered perspective. As it says in Philippians 2:3-4, "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others."

Lie #3: My Spouse Will Never Change

A third lie that can damage a marriage is the belief that one's spouse will never change. This lie often arises when one spouse has been hurt or disappointed by the other person's behavior and has given up hope for improvement.

However, the truth is that change is possible for everyone, including spouses. God's grace and transformative power can work wonders in a person's life, and it is never too late to start anew. Holding onto the belief that one's spouse will never change can create a sense of hopelessness and despair, which can be detrimental to the marriage.

Instead, both spouses should cling to the hope that God can transform their hearts and minds. This requires faith, prayer, and a willingness to forgive and extend grace to each other. As it says in 2 Corinthians 5:17, "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!"

Conclusion

Believing in lies can have a devastating impact on a marriage. Spouses who believe that the other person is the problem, that their spouse should make them happy, or that their spouse will never change are setting themselves up for failure. Instead, both spouses should take responsibility for their actions, focus on serving each other selflessly, and cling to the hope that God can transform their marriage. With God's help, any marriage can overcome the lies that threaten to tear it apart.