When Should Sex Stop in Marriage? Exploring Biblical Guidance and Valid Reasons for Temporarily Pausing Int

When Should Sex Stop in Marriage?

Marriage is a beautiful and sacred institution ordained by God. It is a covenantal relationship between a man and a woman, and one of the most intimate expressions of love and commitment. However, there may be times when sex should stop in marriage.

The Biblical Text on Stopping Sex in Marriage

The Bible speaks on this topic in 1 Corinthians 7:1–5. The Apostle Paul wrote this passage to the Corinthian church to address their questions about sex in marriage. In verse 4, Paul says, “The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.”

This passage highlights the mutual responsibility and ownership that both spouses have over each other's bodies. The husband and wife are called to care for each other's physical needs and desires within the context of their marriage covenant. However, verse 5 goes on to say, “Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”

Here, Paul gives permission for spouses to temporarily stop having sex in order to devote themselves to prayer. He emphasizes that this should be agreed upon by both spouses and for a limited time, so that Satan will not have an opportunity to tempt them due to a lack of self-control.

Why Sex Should Stop in Marriage

There are several reasons why stopping sex in marriage may be necessary. Here are a few:

Physical Health Issues

Sometimes, a spouse may experience physical health issues that make sex painful or impossible. This can be a difficult season for both spouses, but it is important to communicate openly and honestly about the situation and seek medical help if needed.

Mental Health Issues

Similarly, mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, or trauma can affect a person's ability to engage in sexual activity. It is important to prioritize mental health and seek appropriate treatment, while also communicating with your spouse about how they can support you during this time.

Infidelity

If one spouse has been unfaithful, it may be necessary to temporarily stop having sex in order to work through the emotional and relational fallout of the affair. This can be a painful and difficult process, but with the help of a trusted counselor or pastor, the couple can work towards healing and restoration.

Marital Conflict

Finally, if there is ongoing conflict in the marriage, it may be necessary to take a break from sex in order to address the issues at hand. This can give both spouses space to reflect and seek God's wisdom and guidance on how to move forward in a healthy way.

When Sex Should Not Stop in Marriage

While there are valid reasons to stop having sex in marriage, it is important to note that these are the exception, not the rule. The default posture should be one of mutual care and intimacy, as Paul emphasizes in 1 Corinthians 7:4. Here are a few reasons why sex should not stop in marriage:

Selfishness

One of the primary reasons why sex should not stop in marriage is selfishness. If one spouse is using sex as a bargaining chip or withholding it as a means of control, this is a violation of the marriage covenant and can be detrimental to the relationship.

Pornography

Similarly, if one spouse is engaging in pornography or other sexual sin, this can create a relational barrier that affects the marriage as a whole. It is important to seek help and accountability if this is an issue in your marriage.

Busyness

Finally, if a couple is simply too busy or distracted to prioritize sex in their marriage, this can lead to neglect and distance. It is important to make time for intimacy and prioritize the marriage relationship, even in the midst of busy seasons.

Conclusion

Sex is an important and intimate part of the marriage relationship, but there may be times when it is necessary to temporarily stop having sex. Whether due to physical or mental health issues, infidelity, or ongoing conflict, it is important to communicate openly and honestly with your spouse and seek appropriate help if needed. However, it is important to note that these are the exception, not the rule. The default posture should be one of mutual care and intimacy, as Paul emphasizes in 1 Corinthians 7:4.

As we navigate the complexities of marriage, let us seek God's wisdom and guidance in all things, including our sexual relationship with our spouse. Let us prioritize mutual care and intimacy, even in the midst of difficult seasons, so that our marriage can be a reflection of God's love and grace to the world around us.

References:

• 1 Corinthians 7:1–5


• Hebrews 13:4


• Proverbs 5:18-19


• Song of Solomon 7:10