What Love Is Not: A Biblical Perspective on True Love

What Love Is Not

Love is the most commonly used word in the world. It is thrown around so often that its true meaning is often lost. The world has made love a big beige wall, drained of the definition or vibrancy it once had, so that anyone can decorate it however he or she likes. “Love” has come to mean whatever anyone says it means — and to suggest otherwise is, of course, “unloving.”

But what is love, and what is love not? The Bible has much to say on the subject. In fact, the Bible is the ultimate authority on love, as it is the word of God, who is love (1 John 4:8).

Love Is Not a Feeling

Many people believe that love is solely a feeling, and that it comes and goes as it pleases. However, love is not just a feeling, but an action. Jesus showed us that love is a choice when he died on the cross for our sins (John 15:13). It was not a feeling that drove him to do it, but his love for us.

That being said, feelings can certainly accompany love. In fact, feelings of affection and fondness are often what draw us to someone in the first place. However, these feelings are not love in and of themselves. They are simply a part of the experience of love, but they are not the essence of it.

Love Is Not Selfish

Love is not about what we can get from someone, but what we can give to them. 1 Corinthians 13:5 says, “Love is not self-seeking.” Love is not about fulfilling our own desires, but about putting others first. This is demonstrated perfectly in the life of Jesus, who gave up his own life for us (John 15:13).

When we love someone, we should be willing to make sacrifices for them, even if it is not convenient for us. We should be willing to put their needs before our own. This is not always easy, but it is what love requires.

Love Is Not Jealous

Jealousy is a common trait in human relationships, but it is not a trait of love. Love does not envy or boast (1 Corinthians 13:4). When we love someone, we should be happy for their successes and blessings, rather than jealous of them. We should want what is best for them, even if it means that we do not get what we want.

Jealousy is often rooted in a fear of losing someone or something that we value. However, true love is not based on fear, but on trust. If we truly love someone, we should trust them and their love for us.

Love Is Not Manipulative

Love is not about controlling or manipulating someone for our own purposes. It is not about making someone do what we want them to do, or feel what we want them to feel. Love is about respecting the other person’s freedom and autonomy.

Manipulation often comes from a place of insecurity or fear. However, true love is not based on fear, but on trust. If we truly love someone, we should trust them and their ability to make their own decisions.

Love Is Not Conditional

True love is unconditional. It is not based on what someone can do for us, or how they can benefit us. It is not based on their appearance, their intelligence, or their social status. It is based on who they are as a person.

God’s love for us is the ultimate example of unconditional love. Romans 5:8 says, “But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” God did not wait for us to clean up our act or become better people before he loved us. He loved us in the midst of our sinfulness.

Similarly, when we love someone, we should love them for who they are, not for what they can do for us. This does not mean that we ignore their flaws or shortcomings, but that we love them in spite of them.

Love Is Not Limited

Love is not something that should be limited to just a few people. Rather, love should be extended to everyone. Matthew 22:39 says, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” This means that we should love everyone, regardless of their race, ethnicity, religion, or social status.

Love is not something that should be reserved for just our family and friends. We should extend love to those who are different from us, and even to those who may be our enemies. This is not always easy, but it is what love requires.

Conclusion

Love is not just a feeling, but an action. It is not about what we can get from someone, but what we can give to them. It is not about jealousy or manipulation, but about trust and respect. It is not conditional, but unconditional. And it is not limited, but extended to everyone.

As Christians, we are called to love one another (John 13:34-35). This means that we should love others as Christ has loved us. We should be willing to make sacrifices for them, put their needs before our own, and extend love to everyone, regardless of who they are.

In a world that has distorted the meaning of love, it is important that we look to the Bible for guidance. The Bible teaches us what love is, and what love is not. Let us strive to love others in the way that Christ has loved us.