Training Up a Child: Guiding Them in the Way They Should Go

Training Up a Child in the Way They Should Go

By John Piper

I have been blessed with the joy and responsibility of raising six children, ranging in age from seven to seventeen. As a pastor and a parent, I believe one of the highest callings in life is to shape our children's hearts to see and savor the beauties of Christ and to love the nations as He does. In my years of ministry and parenting, I have often encountered confusion surrounding the meaning of a well-known verse, "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it" (Proverbs 22:6). Today, I want to reflect on the lasting significance of this verse for the church and provide guidance on how we can effectively train our children in the way they should go.

Understanding the Meaning of "Train Up a Child"

Let's start by examining the Hebrew verb translated as "train" in Proverbs 22:6. Interestingly, this verb appears three other times in the Bible, where it is used to describe the act of "dedicating" houses. In Deuteronomy 20:5, it refers to the dedication of a man's house, while in 1 Kings 8:63 and 2 Chronicles 7:5, it pertains to the dedication of God's house. This parallel suggests that the initial imperative in Proverbs 22:6 calls for parents to actively devote or commit their children to a specific, perhaps even religious, course of life.

Just as a house is dedicated to a specific purpose, such as providing shelter or worshiping God, so too should parents dedicate their children to a particular path or way of life. This dedication involves intentionally shaping and molding their hearts, minds, and character to align with God's purposes and principles. It is a lifelong commitment that requires consistent effort and intentional guidance.

The Way They Should Go

The second part of Proverbs 22:6 emphasizes the importance of training a child in "the way he should go." But what does this mean? To understand this phrase, we need to look at the broader context of Scripture and discern God's intended direction for His people.

In the Old Testament, God repeatedly calls His people to walk in His ways and follow His commandments. For example, Deuteronomy 5:33 says, "You shall walk in all the way that the Lord your God has commanded you, that you may live, and that it may go well with you." Similarly, Psalm 119:105 declares, "Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path." These passages highlight the importance of aligning our lives with God's truth and obeying His commands.

As parents, our primary responsibility is to teach our children to walk in the way of the Lord. We should strive to instill in them a deep love for God's Word and a desire to live in accordance with His principles. This involves teaching them the Scriptures, modeling a godly lifestyle, and providing opportunities for them to experience the power and presence of God in their own lives.

Intentional Dedication and Training

Training up a child in the way they should go is not a passive endeavor. It requires intentional dedication and purposeful training. Just as a dedicated house requires ongoing maintenance and care, so too must parents consistently invest time and effort into shaping their children's hearts and minds.

Here are some practical steps parents can take to effectively train their children in the way they should go:

1. Grounded in Prayer

Begin by seeking God's wisdom and guidance through prayer. Ask Him to give you the discernment and grace to train your children in a way that honors Him. Pray for your children's salvation and spiritual growth, trusting that God is faithful to answer according to His perfect will.

2. Study and Teach God's Word

Immerse yourself in the Scriptures and make it a priority to teach your children God's Word. Create a regular routine for reading and studying the Bible together as a family. Discuss its teachings, share personal insights, and encourage your children to ask questions. Help them understand the relevance and application of God's Word in their everyday lives.

3. Model a Godly Lifestyle

Your children are watching and learning from your example. Live out your faith in front of them, demonstrating what it means to follow Christ wholeheartedly. Show them the joy and fulfillment that comes from a life devoted to God. Be transparent about your struggles and failures, and humbly seek forgiveness when you fall short. Your authenticity and vulnerability will leave a lasting impact on your children.

4. Provide a Christ-Centered Community

Surround your family with a community of believers who share your commitment to training up children in the way they should go. Regularly attend a Bible-believing church where your children can learn and grow alongside their peers. Encourage them to participate in age-appropriate ministries and develop relationships with godly mentors who can speak into their lives.

5. Foster a Love for God and His Kingdom

Help your children develop a genuine love for God and a passion for His kingdom. Encourage them to cultivate a personal relationship with Jesus Christ through prayer, worship, and service. Teach them about the importance of sharing the gospel with others and making disciples of all nations. Instill in them a global perspective and a heart for missions.

The Promise of Proverbs 22:6

Proverbs 22:6 concludes with a promise: "Even when he is old he will not depart from it." This verse has been a source of comfort and hope for countless parents, assuring them that their faithful training will have a lasting impact on their children's lives.

While it is important to understand that this verse is not an absolute guarantee of a child's spiritual trajectory, it does provide encouragement to parents who faithfully dedicate themselves to training their children in the way they should go. The promise implies that the foundation laid in childhood has a profound influence on a person's lifelong journey.

Ultimately, the fulfillment of this promise rests in the sovereign work of God's grace. We cannot control our children's choices or guarantee their salvation, but we can faithfully fulfill our role as parents and trust God with the outcome. Our responsibility is to diligently train, guide, and nurture our children, while recognizing that their ultimate allegiance and faith rest in the hands of a loving and sovereign God.

Conclusion

Training up a child in the way they should go is a sacred privilege and a tremendous responsibility. As parents, we have the opportunity to shape our children's hearts and minds, guiding them toward a deep love for God and a life devoted to His purposes. Let us embrace this calling with humility, dependence on God, and a commitment to intentional dedication and training. May we faithfully sow the seeds of truth, trusting that God will bring about the growth and transformation He desires in our children's lives.