The Role of a Pastor's Wife: Support, Faithfulness, and Hospitality

What Should a Pastor's Wife Be Like?

You might be surprised to know that your pastor’s wife is much like you. She is not a celebrity or a super-Christian, but like you, she desires to be a faithful follower of the Lord Jesus Christ. That means her God-given priority is to minister to her husband and the children God has given her. That is a big job, as all the other women in the church understand. Like them, she is called to build her house (Proverbs 14:1) and to provide a joyful oasis for her family. Hers is not the special calling of the pastor’s wife, but of all Christian wives.

I never aspired to be “a pastor’s wife,” but I most certainly did desire to be Doug’s wife. When we got married, I didn’t know exactly where he was going, but I knew that I wanted to go too. So later, when he was called to be a pastor, it was obvious that I was called to be a pastor’s wife. At that time, I was fairly clear on my wifely duties, but as to what my being a pastor’s wife might entail, I had little clue. But that was four decades ago, and the role of the pastor’s wife has changed over time.

The Role of a Pastor's Wife

The role of a pastor's wife is not a predefined, one-size-fits-all position. It varies depending on the church, the pastor, and the specific needs of the congregation. However, there are certain biblical principles that can guide a pastor's wife in fulfilling her role effectively.

1. Supportive and Encouraging

A pastor's wife should be supportive and encouraging to her husband in his ministry. She should be his closest confidant and prayer partner. Just as Aaron supported Moses in the wilderness, a pastor's wife can provide invaluable support to her husband in the challenges of ministry (Exodus 4:14-16).

2. Faithful and Committed

A pastor's wife should be faithful and committed to her husband and the work of God. She should exemplify the qualities of a godly woman as described in Proverbs 31, being trustworthy, diligent, and wise. Her commitment to God and her family will serve as a powerful testimony to others.

3. Hospitable and Caring

A pastor's wife should be hospitable and caring, creating an atmosphere of warmth and love within the church community. She can open her home to others, providing a place of refuge and fellowship. Just like Martha welcomed Jesus into her home, a pastor's wife can extend hospitality to those in need (Luke 10:38-42).

4. Prayerful and Spiritually Mature

A pastor's wife should be prayerful and spiritually mature, seeking God's guidance and wisdom in her own life and in her role as a pastor's wife. She should be a woman of the Word, meditating on Scripture and allowing it to shape her thoughts and actions. Her spiritual maturity will be a source of strength and encouragement to others.

5. Discerning and Wise

A pastor's wife should be discerning and wise, able to provide sound counsel and guidance to her husband and others in the church. She should have a deep understanding of God's truth and be able to apply it to various situations. Her wisdom will be a valuable asset in navigating the complexities of ministry.

6. Supportive of Family

A pastor's wife should prioritize her role as a wife and mother, ensuring the well-being and spiritual growth of her family. She should create a nurturing and loving environment for her children, teaching them about God's love and truth. Her support and involvement in her family's lives will have a lasting impact.

7. A Woman of Integrity

A pastor's wife should be a woman of integrity, living a life that is consistent with her beliefs. She should strive to be a positive role model for others, demonstrating honesty, humility, and grace. Her integrity will earn the respect and trust of those around her.

Conclusion

Being a pastor's wife is not about being perfect or having all the answers. It is about being faithful, supportive, and committed to God, her husband, and the church. The role of a pastor's wife may evolve over time, but the biblical principles of love, service, and godliness remain constant.

So, whether you are a pastor's wife or simply a Christian wife seeking to honor God in your marriage, remember that your role is significant and valuable. Your love, support, and dedication can make a profound difference in the lives of those around you.

As you navigate through the challenges and joys of being a pastor's wife, lean on God's grace and seek His wisdom. He will equip you with everything you need to fulfill your calling and bring glory to His name.