The Intimacy of Best Friendships: Navigating Boundaries in Christian Relationships

A New Kind of Relationship: The Intimacy of Best Friendships

“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.” — Proverbs 17:17

Love and intimacy are no longer limited to romantic relationships. Best friendships are taking on a new level of intimacy, and it’s changing the way we view relationships. These days, it’s not unusual to see best friends holding hands, cuddling, sharing beds, celebrating anniversaries, and using special nicknames. It’s all part of the exaltation of intimacy in friendships, and it’s happening even among Christians.

But is this a healthy trend? Should we be encouraging and celebrating this kind of intimacy in friendships? Let’s explore what the Bible says about intimacy and relationships, and how we can navigate this new kind of relationship.

Intimacy and Relationships in the Bible

God created us to be in relationships. From the beginning, He saw that it was not good for man to be alone (Genesis 2:18). He created Eve as a companion for Adam, and together they formed the first human relationship. Throughout the Bible, we see examples of the importance of relationships and the intimacy that can exist within them.

One of the most powerful examples of intimacy in relationships is the relationship between David and Jonathan. Theirs was a friendship that went beyond the norm. They loved each other deeply, and their bond was so strong that it was almost romantic in nature. In 1 Samuel 18:1-4, we read:

“After David had finished talking with Saul, Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself. From that day Saul kept David with him and did not let him return home to his family. And Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself. Jonathan took off the robe he was wearing and gave it to David, along with his tunic, and even his sword, his bow and his belt.”

David and Jonathan’s relationship was not just a casual friendship. They made a covenant to be loyal to each other, and they were willing to sacrifice for each other. They shared their hearts and their possessions, and they even risked their lives for each other. Theirs was a deep, intimate relationship that went beyond what we typically think of as friendship.

Another example of intimacy in relationships is the relationship between Ruth and Naomi. When Ruth’s husband died, she chose to stay with Naomi instead of returning to her own family. She pledged to stay with Naomi and be faithful to her, saying, “Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God” (Ruth 1:16). Ruth and Naomi’s relationship was one of love, loyalty, and sacrifice, and it was a beautiful example of intimacy in relationships.

The Dangers of Romanticizing Best Friendships

While intimacy in relationships can be a beautiful thing, we must be careful not to romanticize best friendships in a way that goes beyond what is appropriate. Holding hands, cuddling, and sharing beds may seem harmless, but they can lead to unhealthy emotional and physical attachments.

Jealousy and fear can also be a problem in these relationships. When a new friend enters the picture, jealousy can rear its ugly head. Fear can also be an issue when a friend is gone, causing anxiety and distress.

Unnatural physical affection can also be a problem. While physical touch is important in relationships, it should be appropriate to the relationship. Holding hands, cuddling, and sharing beds may be appropriate for a romantic relationship, but not for a friendship.

It’s important to remember that there are boundaries in relationships, and these boundaries should be respected. While intimacy in friendships can be a beautiful thing, it should not go beyond what is appropriate for the relationship.

Navigating Intimacy in Best Friendships

So how do we navigate this new kind of relationship? How do we maintain healthy boundaries while still enjoying the intimacy of a best friendship?

1. Set Clear Boundaries

The first step in navigating intimacy in best friendships is to set clear boundaries. Talk openly with your friend about what is appropriate and what is not. Let them know what makes you uncomfortable, and listen to their concerns as well. It’s important to establish these boundaries early on to avoid any confusion or misunderstandings down the road.

2. Stay Accountable

Accountability is key in any relationship, but it’s especially important in a best friendship. Find someone you trust who can hold you accountable in your relationship. This could be a mentor, a pastor, or a trusted friend. Share your concerns with them, and ask for their help in staying accountable to healthy boundaries.

3. Keep Your Focus on God

Ultimately, our focus should always be on God. He is the source of all true intimacy, and our relationship with Him should be our top priority. When we keep our focus on God, our relationships will naturally fall into place.

As Christians, we are called to love one another and to be in relationships with one another. Best friendships can be a beautiful expression of that love and intimacy. But we must be careful not to romanticize these relationships in a way that goes beyond what is appropriate. By setting clear boundaries, staying accountable, and keeping our focus on God, we can navigate this new kind of relationship in a healthy and God-honoring way.