Singleness: Finding Wholeness and Community in Christ

Singleness: Finding Wholeness and Community in Christ

As a married woman, my memories of singleness are potent, but few. I was engaged at the age of twenty and married before finishing college. However, I do remember the thrill and horror of dating. Singleness is more common, accepted, and in vogue today than ever before in American culture. It is refreshing to see single women who aren't pining away, waiting for their life to begin with the entrance of a mythical man who will fulfill all their deepest longings. The truth is, there is a man who can fulfill all our longings, and he isn't mythical - he arrived more than two thousand years ago.

But what about those who find themselves single not by choice or calling? Regardless of whether you love your singleness or not, none of us were made to live alone. In the garden, God remedied the problem of aloneness by creating Eve for Adam. But if a man and woman complete each other, then who completes the single person?

Some might say, "Jesus!" And while Jesus is the answer to our deepest longings, he doesn't merely complete the incomplete; he utterly overcomes and swallows us up in himself - in his death and resurrection. We are made new and whole in Christ, not merely completed by him. So who does complete the single person?

As a married woman, I may seem like an unlikely candidate to answer this question, but I have had the humbling privilege of being loved, taught, discipled, and mothered by single women. These incredible women have played a significant role in my life, and I want to share their stories.

Joyce, Emily, and Julie - Mentors and Role Models

One of the first single women I encountered on my journey was Joyce. She invited me and other young moms into her home, and I was immediately struck by her warmth and kindness. As we chatted, I shared a parenting challenge I was facing, and to my surprise, Joyce offered her advice. She had never been married or had children of her own, but her observations of her nieces and nephews provided valuable insights. I realized then that the wisdom and guidance of a single woman can be just as valuable, if not more so, than that of a married person.

Another single woman who had a profound impact on my life is Emily. I first got to know her when I desperately needed babysitters for our small group. She and her younger sisters volunteered and faithfully served our group for six years. When Emily started college, I asked her if she would be interested in helping me with my children on a weekly basis. Her commitment and reliability were refreshing, and she not only helped with practical tasks but also shared valuable lessons she had learned from her mother. Emily's example taught me about faithfulness in the face of adversity.

My Aunt Julie has also been a significant influence in my life. Her lifelong singleness has been a gift to our family. Despite not having children of her own, she has loved us unconditionally and taken us under her wing. The bond she has formed with my children is something I treasure. Her presence in our lives has been a type of mothering that is as precious as it is unique.

These are just a few examples of the many single women who have impacted my life and the lives of others. Their faithful witness and example are beautiful, and I have learned so much from them.

Single Women as Mentors and Disciples

The stories of Joyce, Emily, and Julie highlight the unique role single women can play in the lives of others. They are not limited to mothering in practical, real-life training ways, but also in spiritual discipling ways. The line between the two is not sharp; they spill over and envelop one another.

When a single woman asks, "Who completes me?" it is not a sad consolation for the rest of the body of Christ to reply, "I do." The people in our churches, those who are in Christ with us, need all that single women have to offer. The married cannot say to the single, "I have no need of you," nor the single to the married (1 Corinthians 12:21).

In Romans 12:5, we are reminded that we are all members of one body, made new and whole by Jesus. Married or unmarried, we all have a role to play in the body of Christ. Single women have unique insights and experiences that can benefit the entire community. By inviting them to speak into our lives, we can learn and grow in ways we never thought possible.

Biblical Examples of Single Women

The Bible provides us with examples of single women who found their completeness in God and served as powerful witnesses to others. One such woman is Ruth. After losing her husband, she chose to stay with her mother-in-law, Naomi, and became a devoted follower of God. Through her faithfulness and loyalty, she played a crucial role in God's redemptive plan.

Another example is Mary, the mother of Jesus. She was a young, unmarried woman who was chosen by God to bear his Son. Despite facing societal judgment and potential shame, Mary embraced her calling and became a faithful servant of God.

These women, among others, demonstrate that singleness is not a hindrance to serving God; it can be a unique opportunity to devote oneself fully to him and his purposes. Single women can find their completeness in God and use their gifts and talents to glorify him.

Finding Wholeness in Christ

Ultimately, our completeness and wholeness come from our relationship with Jesus Christ. He is the one who can fill the void in our hearts and satisfy our deepest longings. When we surrender our lives to him and trust in his death and resurrection, we are made new and whole.

Singleness, like marriage, is a calling from God. It is a season of life where we can focus on our relationship with God and serve him wholeheartedly. For some, it may be a lifelong calling, while for others, it may be a temporary season. Regardless, the key is to find our identity and fulfillment in Christ alone.

Conclusion

Singleness is a gift and a calling from God. Single women have a unique role to play in the body of Christ, offering their wisdom, guidance, and love to others. Through their example, they teach us about faithfulness, love, and devotion. We should not underestimate the impact single women can have in our lives and communities.

As we seek to find our completeness in Christ, let us embrace the single women in our midst and invite them to speak into our lives. Let us learn from their experiences, their faith, and their love for God. In doing so, we will not only grow individually but also strengthen the body of Christ as a whole.

So, who completes the single person? The answer is found in Jesus Christ, who makes us new and whole. But in our journey, we can find support, guidance, and love from the incredible single women around us. Let us embrace their presence, learn from their wisdom, and celebrate the unique role they play in our lives.