Questions to Ask Before Gossiping: A Guide for Christians

Questions to Ask Before We Gossip

Have you ever found yourself in the midst of a conversation, only to realize too late that you may be gossiping? Gossip is a sneaky sin that can creep up on us, even when we don't intend for it to. It can be difficult to know when our words are crossing the line from innocent conversation to harmful gossip.

As believers, we are called to speak truth and love to one another, and to build each other up rather than tearing each other down. Gossip goes against these principles, and can cause serious harm to individuals and relationships. So, before we engage in gossip, there are a few questions we should ask ourselves.

1. Is it true?

The first question to ask ourselves is whether what we are about to say is true. Proverbs 11:13 says, "A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret." If what we are saying is not true, then we are betraying the trust of the person we are speaking about and spreading falsehoods.

Furthermore, spreading false information can harm the reputation and relationships of the person we are speaking about. We must be careful to only speak the truth, and to verify our information before sharing it with others.

2. Is it kind?

The second question to ask ourselves is whether what we are about to say is kind. Ephesians 4:29 says, "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." If what we are saying is not kind, then it is not helpful for building others up, and may actually tear them down.

It's important to remember that even if what we are saying is true, it may not be kind or helpful to share. We must be careful to consider the impact our words will have on others before we speak.

3. Would I say it to their face?

The third question to ask ourselves is whether we would say what we are about to say to the person's face. Proverbs 25:9 says, "If you take your neighbor to court, do not betray another's confidence." If we are not willing to say something to a person's face, then we should not say it behind their back.

Gossiping behind someone's back is a cowardly and hurtful act that can damage trust and relationships. We must be willing to have open and honest conversations with others, rather than talking about them behind their backs.

4. What is my motive?

The fourth question to ask ourselves is what our motive is for sharing the information. James 3:16 says, "For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice." If our motive for sharing information is to harm or belittle someone, then we are engaging in gossip.

However, if our motive is to help or support someone, then we may be engaging in constructive conversation. It's important to examine our motives before sharing information, and to ensure that they align with God's will.

5. Would I want someone to say this about me?

The final question to ask ourselves is whether we would want someone to say the same things about us that we are about to say about someone else. Matthew 7:12 says, "So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets." If we would not want someone to speak about us in the same way, then we should not speak about others in that way.

Gossip can be a harmful and destructive sin that can damage relationships and reputations. As believers, we are called to speak truth and love to one another, and to build each other up rather than tearing each other down. By asking ourselves these questions before engaging in conversation, we can ensure that our words are edifying and pleasing to God.

The Danger of Gossip

Gossip may seem harmless, but it can have serious consequences. Proverbs 16:28 says, "A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends." When we engage in gossip, we are sowing seeds of discord and causing division among friends and communities.

Gossip can also harm the reputation and relationships of the person we are speaking about. Proverbs 11:13 says, "A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret." When we betray the trust of others by sharing private information, we damage the foundation of trust and respect that is essential for healthy relationships.

Furthermore, gossip can be a reflection of our own insecurities and negative attitudes towards others. Proverbs 10:18 says, "Whoever conceals hatred with lying lips and spreads slander is a fool." When we engage in gossip, we may be revealing our own jealousy, bitterness, or anger towards others.

Ultimately, gossip is a sin that goes against God's desire for our relationships with one another. Ephesians 4:29 says, "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." As believers, we are called to speak truth and love to one another, and to build each other up rather than tearing each other down.

How to Avoid Gossip

Avoiding gossip can be challenging, especially in a culture that often encourages negative talk and criticism. However, there are several steps we can take to avoid engaging in gossip.

1. Focus on the positive

One way to avoid gossip is to focus on the positive aspects of the people and situations we encounter. Philippians 4:8 says, "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." By intentionally focusing on the positive, we can shift our mindset away from negative talk and criticism.

2. Speak directly to the person

If we have an issue with someone, it's important to speak directly to them rather than talking about them behind their back. Matthew 18:15 says, "If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over." By speaking directly to the person, we can avoid the sin of gossip and work towards resolution and reconciliation.

3. Be careful about who we spend time with

The people we spend time with can have a significant impact on our attitudes and behaviors. Proverbs 13:20 says, "Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm." If we surround ourselves with people who engage in gossip and negative talk, we are more likely to do the same. By choosing to spend time with people who speak truth and love, we can create a culture of positivity and edification.

4. Pray for discernment

Finally, we can pray for discernment and wisdom in our conversations with others. James 1:5 says, "If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you." By seeking God's guidance and wisdom, we can avoid engaging in gossip and speak truth and love to one another.

Conclusion

Gossip may seem harmless, but it can have serious consequences for ourselves and others. As believers, we are called to speak truth and love to one another, and to build each other up rather than tearing each other down. By asking ourselves the questions listed above, we can ensure that our conversations are edifying and pleasing to God.

Furthermore, by focusing on the positive, speaking directly to others, choosing our relationships wisely, and seeking God's guidance, we can avoid the temptation to engage in gossip and create a culture of positivity and edification in our communities.

Let us strive to honor God with our words, and to speak truth and love to one another in all our conversations.