Nine Lies in the Not-Yet-Married Life: Overcoming False Beliefs about Singleness and

Nine Lies in the Not-Yet-Married Life

As young adults, we tend to view our singleness as a time of waiting, a season of preparation for the more desirable season of marriage. We often hear the phrase "not yet married" being used to describe our relationship status. However, as we wait for this desired season, we are not immune to the lies that the world tells us about singleness, love, and marriage.

Here are nine lies that we might believe in the not-yet-married life:

Lie #1: Marriage Will Solve All My Problems

It is easy to believe that marriage will solve all our problems, especially when we are faced with challenges in our singleness. The truth is, marriage is not a solution to our problems. It is a union that requires sacrifice, effort, and commitment. Marriage amplifies our problems and weaknesses, but it also provides opportunities for growth and sanctification. The Bible says, "Each of you should look not only to your own interests but also to the interests of others" (Philippians 2:4).

Lie #2: I Am Incomplete Without a Spouse

It is easy to believe that we are incomplete without a spouse, that we are somehow less valuable or significant as single individuals. The truth is, our value and identity are not determined by our relationship status. We are created in the image of God, and our worth is rooted in Him alone. The Bible says, "So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them" (Genesis 1:27).

Lie #3: I Am Entitled to a Spouse

It is easy to believe that we are entitled to a spouse, that God owes us a spouse because we have been faithful or because we have prayed for one. The truth is, marriage is not a reward for good behavior or a sign of God's favor. It is a gift that God gives to some but not to others. The Bible says, "For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God" (Ephesians 2:8).

Lie #4: I Need to Find the One

It is easy to believe that we need to find "the one," the perfect person who will complete us and fulfill all our desires. The truth is, there is no such thing as "the one." God's plan for our lives is not limited to one person, and our happiness and fulfillment do not depend on finding the perfect partner. The Bible says, "Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart" (Psalm 37:4).

Lie #5: Singleness is a Curse

It is easy to believe that singleness is a curse, that it is a punishment for our sins or a sign of our unworthiness. The truth is, singleness is a gift and a calling from God. It is an opportunity to serve Him and others without the distractions and responsibilities of marriage. The Bible says, "An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs--how he can please the Lord" (1 Corinthians 7:32).

Lie #6: I Am Running Out of Time

It is easy to believe that we are running out of time, that our biological clock is ticking and we need to hurry up and find a spouse before it's too late. The truth is, God's timing is perfect, and He has a plan for our lives that includes our singleness and our marriage. We do not need to worry or be anxious about the future. The Bible says, "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own" (Matthew 6:34).

Lie #7: I Need to Settle for Less

It is easy to believe that we need to settle for less, that we need to compromise our standards and values in order to find a spouse. The truth is, we should never settle for less than God's best for us. We should trust Him to provide the right person at the right time, and we should wait patiently for His timing. The Bible says, "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well" (Matthew 6:33).

Lie #8: My Sexual Desires Need to Be Fulfilled

It is easy to believe that our sexual desires need to be fulfilled, that we need to engage in sexual activity before marriage in order to satisfy our cravings and to test our compatibility with a potential spouse. The truth is, sexual intimacy is designed by God to be enjoyed within the covenant of marriage. We should resist the temptation to compromise our purity and to dishonor God with our bodies. The Bible says, "Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body" (1 Corinthians 6:18).

Lie #9: My Happiness Depends on My Spouse

It is easy to believe that our happiness depends on our spouse, that he or she is responsible for making us feel loved, valued, and fulfilled. The truth is, our happiness should not depend on our circumstances or our relationships. It should depend on our relationship with God and our obedience to His will. We should find joy and contentment in Him alone. The Bible says, "Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus" (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18).

Conclusion

As not-yet-married individuals, we are called to live a life of holiness, purity, and obedience to God. We should resist the lies that the world tells us about singleness, love, and marriage, and we should embrace the truth that is found in God's Word. We should trust His plan for our lives, and we should wait patiently for His timing. We should seek His will, His glory, and His kingdom above all else.

Remember, marriage is not the ultimate goal of our lives. It is a gift that God gives to some but not to others. Our ultimate goal is to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever, whether we are single or married. Let us seek Him with all our hearts, and let us trust Him to provide all that we need according to His riches in Christ Jesus.

References

• Bible verses from the English Standard Version (ESV)


• Desiring God. (n.d.). Nine Lies in the Not-Yet-Married Life. Retrieved from https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/nine-lies-in-the-not-yet-married-life