Letting Go of Unrealistic Expectations: Embracing God's Choice for Your Partner

When it comes to finding a partner for marriage, some Christians have very specific ideas about what they want. They have a "type" in mind, someone who meets all their preferences and criteria. They reject potential matches because they don't fit their ideal image of a partner. But is this approach really in line with what God wants for us?

In the book of Genesis, when Adam saw Eve for the first time, he exclaimed, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh" (Genesis 2:23). He didn't question God's choice for him or think, "Is this really what you think of me?" Adam recognized Eve as a gift from God, a suitable partner for him. He didn't let personal preferences or expectations get in the way of embracing the person God had chosen for him.

But some Christians today struggle with pride when it comes to finding a partner. They believe they are desirable and deserving of the perfect match. They have a long list of criteria that a potential partner must meet, and they refuse to settle for anything less. They want someone who is not only a follower of Christ, but also beautiful, outgoing, athletic, funny, intelligent, and so on. They believe they deserve the best, and until they find someone who meets all their standards, they remain single.

This mindset is rooted in pride and an inflated sense of self. These individuals believe they are above settling for anything less than perfection. They see themselves as being in "high demand" and believe they have more options than others. But this mentality only leads to a lonely and unfulfilled life. They spend years searching for the perfect partner, but never find them because they are unwilling to let go of their unrealistic expectations.

The Bible tells us that a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised (Proverbs 31:30). While physical attraction and shared interests are important, they should not be the sole basis for choosing a partner. We should prioritize finding someone who is devoted to God and seeks to live a godly life. That is the true beauty that lasts beyond physical appearance. Instead of chasing after perishable beauty, we should pursue someone who possesses imperishable beauty, someone who is growing in their faith and becoming more like Christ.

It's important to remember that as Christians, we already have the highest standard when it comes to choosing a partner: rebirth. When God gives us a partner, he is bringing someone into our lives whom he has called and chosen. This is not a call to settle, but a call to embrace the amazing person God has brought into our lives. They may not meet all our preferences and criteria, but they are the one God has chosen for us.

Marriage is not about finding the perfect person; it is about accepting and loving an imperfect person. When we marry someone, we are committing to love them and grow with them, even in their imperfections. It's not about finding someone who will make us happy or fulfill all our desires. True happiness and fulfillment come from God alone. Our marriages should point us to him and remind us of our future with him.

Instead of searching for the perfect partner, we should focus on becoming the right partner ourselves. We should strive to grow in our relationship with God and become more like Christ. As we do this, we will be better equipped to love and serve our future spouse. Marriage is not just about finding the right person; it's about being the right person.

So let go of pride and unrealistic expectations. Trust that God knows what is best for you and that he will bring the right person into your life at the right time. Embrace the imperfections of your future spouse and love them unconditionally. Remember that marriage is a gift from God, and it is meant to be a reflection of his love for us. Let go of your "type" and open your heart to the person God has chosen for you.