Intentional Dating for Christians: Seeking God's Guidance and Honoring Him in Relationships

Are Christians Too Intentional in Dating?

Imagine walking into a cozy coffee shop near the university, oblivious to the fact that your life is about to change forever. As you step inside, you notice a captivating young woman sitting on a couch, someone you've never seen before. Your heart starts racing, and in that moment, an ordinary night becomes the beginning of an extraordinary journey. This is how our story began seventeen years ago.

Beginnings hold immense significance. The Bible emphasizes the importance of remembering our origins. Throughout Scriptures, God's people constantly recount the narrative of how He created a nation for Himself. From 1 Samuel 12:8 to 2 Kings 17:36, from Psalm 81:4–10 to Daniel 9:15 and Amos 3:1, God reminds us of our past to help us navigate the present and anticipate the future (Hebrews 11:24–26).

When it comes to relationships, the early stages are enchanting. New couples often can't get enough of each other. They embark on adventures, discover shared interests, and dream about the future. However, as time goes on, the initial intensity may fade, and reality sets in. This is where intentionality in dating becomes crucial.

The Importance of Intentionality

In today's fast-paced world, where distractions abound, intentional dating is vital for Christians. By intentional dating, we mean purposefully seeking a relationship that aligns with our values, beliefs, and commitment to follow Christ. It involves seeking a partner who shares our faith and desires to grow in godliness together.

Intentional dating is more than just going out on dates; it's about approaching relationships with a clear purpose. It's about seeking a partner who will help us become more like Jesus, supporting and challenging us on our journey of faith. This level of intentionality involves prayer, seeking wisdom from trusted mentors, and actively pursuing relationships that honor God.

Biblical Wisdom for Intentional Dating

The Bible offers timeless wisdom for intentional dating. Here are a few key principles:

1. Seek God's Guidance

Before entering into a romantic relationship, seek God's guidance through prayer. Surrender your desires to Him and ask for His wisdom in choosing a partner. Proverbs 3:5–6 reminds us to trust in the Lord with all our hearts and lean not on our own understanding. When we involve God in our dating journey, He can direct our steps and lead us to someone who will complement our faith.

2. Pursue Godliness

When considering a potential partner, prioritize godliness over external qualities. While physical attraction is important, it should never overshadow a person's character and commitment to Christ. Proverbs 31:30 reminds us that "charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." Similarly, 1 Samuel 16:7 reminds us that God looks at the heart, not outward appearances.

3. Guard Your Heart

As you navigate the dating world, guard your heart against distractions and compromises. Proverbs 4:23 advises, "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." Stay true to your values and convictions, and don't compromise your faith for the sake of a relationship. Surround yourself with wise counsel and accountability to help you stay on the right path.

4. Cultivate Healthy Communication

Effective communication is vital in any relationship. Proverbs 18:21 reminds us that "the tongue has the power of life and death." Be intentional about cultivating healthy communication habits, such as active listening and expressing your thoughts and feelings with respect and kindness. Healthy communication fosters understanding, unity, and growth in a relationship.

5. Be Patient

Patience is essential in the dating process. Trust God's timing and avoid rushing into a relationship out of impatience or desperation. Ecclesiastes 3:1 teaches us that there is a season for everything. Use this season of singleness to grow in your relationship with God, develop your character, and prepare yourself for a healthy and lasting partnership.

Conclusion

Intentional dating is a necessary and valuable approach for Christians seeking a God-honoring relationship. By seeking God's guidance, pursuing godliness, guarding our hearts, cultivating healthy communication, and practicing patience, we position ourselves for a relationship that aligns with our faith and values. Remember, the beginning of a relationship is just the start; it's the intentional journey of growth and commitment that makes it truly meaningful.

So, as you step into that coffee shop or any other setting where love might surprise you, be intentional. Seek God's wisdom, listen to His voice, and trust in His perfect plan for your romantic journey. Embrace the adventure, knowing that as you are intentional in your dating life, God will faithfully guide you to a relationship that honors Him and brings you lasting joy.