Guarding Your Marriage: Choosing Faithfulness over Adultery

Dear Friend,

I don't know you, but I do know one thing about you. When you entered into your marriage, you didn't have thoughts of how to ruin it. You didn't plan to bring pain to your husband, your families, or your friends. You had hopes of a life-long love story, filled with deep joy and satisfaction. And yet, here you are today, considering things you never thought possible.

How did you get here? Adultery often begins in the imagination. It starts with cultivating an emotional affair and fantasizing about the sexual possibilities. This goes unchecked by godly repentance. Soon, you find yourself lusting after the attention of another man, flirting with him, and developing an emotional connection. We tend to have a higher tolerance for our own hidden sins, but indulging in a secret world of lust and fantasy ultimately defiles our soul.

Are you disappointed in your husband? Maybe it's his earning power, his time-consuming hobbies, his spiritual malaise, or the less-than-thrilling times of intimacy with you. Perhaps you feel his expectations are too high. Or maybe you're tired of not feeling seen or heard, and you hunger for a man to pay attention to you. Is there a growing longing within you to be free from the confines of your marriage?

Adultery brings misery at many levels. It brings shame to the adulterer and introduces betrayal into your legacy. It shows your children that personal pleasure is more important than their security and brings sorrow to your Christian community. Marriage is a sacred bond that should be honored by all. Adultery takes the one-flesh relationship and smashes it with the hammer of reckless selfishness. Sexual intimacy is a precious gift that should be treated with tenderness and awe. It goes beyond a mere physical release and forms a deep human connection that belongs only in marriage.

God takes sexual sins very seriously. Adultery without repentance condemns the soul. Jesus himself spoke strongly against sexual sins, using vivid language to emphasize the seriousness of the matter. He urged his followers to be willing to endure pain and loss rather than engage in sexual sin. Marriage is an unrelenting commitment to an imperfect person, which means there will be times of unhappiness.

Adultery is a deliberate and mature sin. While you may "fall in love," you ultimately choose to walk into bed with another man. In all our years of ministry, I have never had a woman come to me and say, "I am so happy over this affair. It's even better than I imagined!" So, as an older woman, I have one word for you: Don't! Don't go there. Don't entertain thoughts of adultery in your mind, heart, or body.

Is there hope to renew your marriage? Yes, there is. Start by being zealous over your heart, for from it flow the springs of life. Guard your spirit and cherish the honor that comes from saying no to momentary impulses. Run from difficult or tempting situations. Remember that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, given to you at great cost.

To turn away from sin and turn toward Jesus, you need to identify and remove the sources of temptation. It may mean giving up certain TV shows, books, or social media sites that feed your fantasies. It may even require a change in your job if a relationship there is tempting you with sexual sin. As you turn away from sin, turn toward Jesus. Seek him in the Scriptures and through prayer. Cast your burdens upon him, and he will give you a bright new hope for the future.

By drinking deeply from Jesus, you will find the best guard against adultery. Develop a deep love and satisfaction in Jesus Christ alone. The soul that is satisfied in him will not thirst for false joys. Repentance and faith are the keys to drinking deeply from Jesus. Turn away from sin and turn toward him, finding satisfaction in his presence.

Marriage is a blessing. It provides a sense of belonging and the opportunity to write your own shared history. Consider the legacy you want to leave behind. Adultery tarnishes that legacy and brings misery, but faithfulness and commitment bring joy and fulfillment. Choose the path that leads to life.

In conclusion, my dear friend, I urge you to resist the temptation of adultery. Don't allow your disappointments or longings to lead you down a destructive path. Instead, turn to Jesus, seek his guidance, and find satisfaction in him. Let him renew your marriage and bring healing and restoration. May God bless you and keep you on the path of faithfulness.