Finding Joy in Sustaining Grace: Embracing God's Provision in the Midst of

Imagine a life filled with countless surgeries, yearlong hospital stays, and constant bullying. Picture multiple miscarriages, the unexpected death of a child, and a debilitating progressive disease. Add in riveting pain, betrayal, and a husband who leaves. It sounds like the plot of a tragic novel, but for some people, this is their reality.

If it were up to me, I would have written my story differently. I wouldn't include any of those hardships. Each one represents something difficult, life-changing, and painful. But now, in retrospect, I wouldn't erase a single line.

You see, it is only in hindsight that I can confidently say this. Through all of those devastating events, I begged God to deliver me. I pleaded for Him to save my baby, to reverse my disease, to bring my husband back. But each time, God said no.

Instead of delivering me from my circumstances, God offered His sustaining grace.

At first, I rejected this grace as insufficient. I wanted a miraculous answer to my prayers, a return to normalcy, and relief from the pain. I wanted the kind of grace that would deliver me from my circumstances.

But God knew better. Each day, He continued to put His sustaining grace before me. At first, I grumbled. It seemed like second best. It wasn't the feast I envisioned. It was bland and monotonous. But after a while, I began to taste the sweetness of this manna, this sustaining grace.

Just like the children of Israel who rejoiced at God's delivering grace in the parting of the Red Sea but complained bitterly at His sustaining grace in the provision of manna, I initially didn't appreciate the value of this sustaining grace. But as I embraced it and savored its sweetness, I realized that it was what upheld me. It revived me when I was weak and drove me to my knees. Unlike delivering grace, which unintentionally moved me towards greater independence from God, sustaining grace kept me tethered to Him. I needed it every day, just like manna, which was new every morning.

This manna, this sustaining grace, sustained me through the darkest moments of my life. It kept me connected to the Giver and not just His gifts. It forced me to seek God and, in doing so, I discovered the intimacy of His fellowship.

In the midst of my deepest pain and darkness, God's presence was unmistakable. He spoke to me, comforted me through His word, and whispered to me in the stillness of the night. He sang beautiful songs of love over me.

At first, all I wanted was for the agony to go away. I didn't rejoice in the moment. I didn't rejoice at all. But as I clung to God and His promises, He sustained me. Joy was elusive at first, with only glimpses of delight. But over time, I realized that I had an inexplicable joy – not in my circumstances, but in the God who cared so fiercely for me.

This joy, often birthed out of suffering, cannot be taken away. It only grows richer with time. My circumstances cannot diminish it. It produces lasting fruit like endurance, character, and hope. It draws me closer to God in breathtaking ways. It achieves a weight of glory that is beyond all comparison.

I still pray earnestly for deliverance, for the many things I long to see changed in my life and in the world. And that is right. It is biblical. We are encouraged to bring our requests to God.

But as much as I long for deliverance, I see the exquisite blessing in sustaining grace. It's not about getting what I want; it's about God giving me what I desperately need: Himself.

In the Bible, we see numerous examples of God's sustaining grace. In the book of Job, we witness Job's incredible suffering and loss. Yet through it all, God sustained him. In Job 1:21, Job declares, "Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised." Despite his devastating circumstances, Job recognized that it was God who sustained him.

In 2 Corinthians 12:7-10, the apostle Paul speaks of a thorn in his flesh, a affliction that brought him great pain. He pleaded with God three times to take it away, but God responded, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Paul then declares, "Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." Paul understood that God's sustaining grace was more than enough for him.

Even Jesus, in the Garden of Gethsemane, asked God to take away the cup of suffering that awaited Him. Yet He ultimately submitted to God's will, recognizing the greater purpose in His suffering. In Luke 22:42, Jesus prays, "Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done."

These biblical examples remind us that sustaining grace is not a second-rate option. It is not a consolation prize. It is a gift from God, a provision that He gives us in the midst of our trials. It is His way of drawing us closer to Him, of deepening our faith, and of transforming us into the image of Christ.

So, if you find yourself in a season of suffering, where your prayers for deliverance seem unanswered, don't lose hope. Instead, cling to God's sustaining grace. Seek Him earnestly, knowing that He is near to the brokenhearted. Embrace the manna He provides, even if it seems bland at first. Trust that His sustaining grace will uphold you, revive you, and draw you closer to Him.

And in that journey, you might just discover a joy that surpasses all understanding. A joy that is rooted not in your circumstances, but in the steadfast love and faithfulness of a God who cares fiercely for you.