Finding Contentment and Confidence: Overcoming Doubts in Your Marriage

Marriage can sometimes feel like an accidental journey, causing doubts and questions to arise. It's natural to wonder if we made a mistake or if our expectations were too high. We may have started off strong, but now find ourselves struggling to find the happiness we once envisioned. If this is the case for you, you're not alone.

Let's take a look at the story of John and Teresa. They have been married for three years, but when asked about the frequency of their quality time together, they admit that it's almost non-existent. Their dreams of a fulfilling and connected marriage have been overshadowed by the reality of their daily lives. They may find themselves thinking, "Is this really what I signed up for?"

It's easy to feel disheartened when our expectations are not met in marriage. We may wonder if God overlooked our desires and if our dreams were simply misplaced. But there is hope. We can find contentment and confidence in our marriage, even when it falls short of our expectations.

Finding Contentment

When our marriage feels accidental, it's important to remember that God is still in control. He has a purpose for our union, and He can bring beauty out of the mess. Instead of dwelling on what we don't have, let's focus on finding contentment in the present moment.

Contentment doesn't mean settling for less or giving up on our dreams. It means finding joy and satisfaction in the midst of our current circumstances. It's about embracing the reality of our marriage and trusting that God can work through it for our good.

Paul reminds us in Philippians 4:11-12, "I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need."

Contentment is a choice we make daily. It's about shifting our focus from what we lack to what we have. It's about finding gratitude in the small things and celebrating the blessings God has given us.

Building Confidence

When our marriage feels accidental, our confidence can take a hit. We may question our abilities as a spouse or doubt if we are truly meant to be together. But confidence in marriage is not about having it all figured out; it's about trusting God's plan.

Proverbs 3:5-6 says, "Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths."

Confidence in marriage comes from knowing that God is with us every step of the way. He is faithful to guide us and provide us with the wisdom and strength we need. We can trust that He will lead us through the ups and downs of marriage and help us grow closer to Him and to each other.

Building confidence also involves seeking support and guidance from others. Joining a marriage ministry or seeking counseling can provide valuable insights and tools to strengthen our relationship. It's important to surround ourselves with a community of believers who can encourage and support us on this journey.

Redefining Expectations

When our marriage feels accidental, it may be an opportunity to reevaluate our expectations. Often, our disappointment stems from unrealistic or uncommunicated expectations.

Instead of expecting our spouse to fulfill all our needs and make us happy, let's shift our focus to becoming the best version of ourselves for the sake of our marriage. Let's strive to love and serve our spouse selflessly, just as Christ loves and serves us.

Ephesians 5:25-28 reminds us of this calling: "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies."

By redefining our expectations and focusing on our own growth, we can create a healthier and more fulfilling marriage. Let's strive to be the spouse we want to have and trust that God will work in our hearts and in our spouse's heart as well.

A Lasting Commitment

Marriage is not a contract that can be easily broken; it is a covenant made before God. It's a commitment to love and cherish one another, for better or for worse.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 paints a beautiful picture of love: "Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."

When our marriage feels accidental, we can choose to love unconditionally and sacrificially. We can choose to forgive and extend grace to our spouse, just as Christ forgives and extends grace to us. It's through this commitment and sacrificial love that we can find healing and restoration in our marriage.

Remember, every marriage goes through seasons of struggle and doubt. But with God at the center, we can find contentment, build confidence, redefine expectations, and commit to a lasting and fulfilling marriage. Let's trust in His plan and rely on His strength to navigate the challenges that come our way.