10 Questions on Dating with Matt Chandler: A Biblical Perspective

10 Questions on Dating with Matt Chandler: An In-Depth Look at Biblical Principles for Relationships

As human beings, we all long for connection and companionship. However, in today's world, the dating landscape can be confusing and overwhelming. Thankfully, the Bible provides us with guidance and wisdom on how to navigate relationships in a way that honors God and brings joy and fulfillment.

Meet Matt Chandler

Matt Chandler is a well-known pastor, author, and speaker who has a heart for helping people understand and apply God's truth to their lives. He has written several books, including The Mingling of Souls: God’s Design for Love, Marriage, Sex, and Redemption, and serves as the lead pastor at The Village Church in Dallas, Texas.

In this article, we'll take an in-depth look at 10 questions on dating that Matt Chandler has addressed in his ministry. We'll explore what the Bible has to say about relationships, singleness, marriage, and sex, and how we can apply these principles to our lives today.

Question 1: Is My Boyfriend/Girlfriend a Good Fit for Me?

Many people enter into relationships without considering whether the other person is a good match for them. They may be attracted to the person's looks, personality, or status, but fail to consider whether they share similar values, goals, and beliefs.

Matt Chandler emphasizes the importance of finding someone who shares your faith and values, and who is committed to loving and serving God alongside you. He points to 2 Corinthians 6:14, which says, "Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?"

Chandler explains that this verse isn't just about marriage, but about any close relationship. If you are dating someone who doesn't share your faith or values, you'll likely encounter conflicts and challenges that could have been avoided if you had chosen a partner who is on the same page as you.

When considering whether someone is a good fit for you, Chandler suggests asking questions like:

• Do we share similar beliefs and values?


• Do we have similar goals and aspirations?


• Do we enjoy spending time together and have compatible personalities?


• Are we both committed to growing in our faith and serving God together?

By taking the time to evaluate these factors, you can make a more informed decision about whether a relationship is a good fit for you.

Question 2: How Can I Guard My Heart in Dating?

Guarding your heart in dating means being careful about who you allow to have an emotional and spiritual connection with you. It means being cautious about giving your heart away too easily, and being mindful of red flags or warning signs that someone may not be a good fit for you.

Matt Chandler encourages singles to prioritize their relationship with God above all else, and to seek to become the kind of person they would want to marry. He emphasizes the importance of having a strong support network of friends and mentors who can provide wise counsel and accountability.

Chandler also stresses the importance of being patient and trusting God's timing in your dating life. He reminds singles that God has a plan for their lives, and that they can trust Him to bring the right person into their lives at the right time.

When it comes to guarding your heart in dating, Chandler suggests:

• Building a strong relationship with God and seeking His guidance in your dating life


• Surrounding yourself with wise and godly friends and mentors


• Being patient and trusting God's timing


• Being discerning about who you allow into your heart and life

By taking these steps, you can guard your heart and make wise choices in your dating life.

Question 3: What Does the Bible Say About Premarital Sex?

Premarital sex is a controversial and often misunderstood topic in today's culture. Many people view sex as a casual, recreational activity, rather than a sacred and intimate expression of love between a husband and wife.

However, the Bible teaches that sex is a gift from God that is meant to be enjoyed within the context of marriage. In 1 Corinthians 6:18-20, the apostle Paul says, "Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body."

Matt Chandler emphasizes that sex is not just a physical act, but a spiritual and emotional one as well. He explains that when we engage in sex outside of marriage, we are dishonoring God and damaging ourselves and our partners.

Chandler encourages singles to wait until marriage to engage in sexual activity, and to prioritize building emotional and spiritual intimacy with their partners. He reminds singles that sex is not the foundation of a healthy relationship, but rather an expression of love that is built on a foundation of trust, commitment, and mutual respect.

Question 4: How Can I Know if I'm Ready for Marriage?

Marriage is a big commitment that requires maturity, selflessness, and a willingness to put your partner's needs above your own. Before entering into marriage, it's important to make sure that you are ready for the responsibilities and challenges that come with this covenant relationship.

Matt Chandler suggests that singles ask themselves the following questions when considering whether they are ready for marriage:

• Am I emotionally and spiritually mature enough to handle the responsibilities of marriage?


• Am I willing to put my partner's needs above my own and sacrificially love them?


• Do I have a support network of friends and mentors who can provide guidance and accountability?


• Am I financially stable and able to provide for a family?

By honestly evaluating these factors, you can gain a better understanding of whether you are ready for the commitment of marriage.

Question 5: How Can I Honor God in My Dating Relationship?

As Christians, our ultimate goal in relationships should be to honor God and reflect His character in all that we do. This means treating our partners with love, respect, and purity, and seeking to build relationships that are rooted in faith and godly values.

Matt Chandler suggests that honoring God in your dating relationship involves:

• Putting God first and seeking His guidance in your relationship


• Treating your partner with love, respect, and purity


• Being honest and transparent with each other


• Building emotional and spiritual intimacy


• Encouraging each other in your faith and helping each other grow closer to God

By following these principles, you can build a relationship that honors God and brings joy and fulfillment to both partners.

Question 6: How Can I Overcome My Fear of Rejection?

Fear of rejection is a common issue that many people struggle with in dating. It can cause us to hold back, avoid taking risks, and settle for less than what we truly desire in a relationship.

Matt Chandler suggests that the key to overcoming fear of rejection is to focus on our identity in Christ. When we understand that we are loved and accepted by God, we can have confidence in who we are and trust that our worth is not determined by others' opinions of us.

Chandler also encourages singles to take risks and step out of their comfort zones in dating. He reminds us that rejection is a natural part of the dating process, and that it's important not to let it discourage us or define our self-worth.

When it comes to overcoming fear of rejection, Chandler suggests:

• Focusing on our identity in Christ and our worth as children of God


• Taking risks and stepping out of our comfort zones in dating


• Not letting rejection discourage us or define our self-worth


• Trusting in God's plan for our lives and believing that He has someone special in store for us

By following these principles, we can overcome fear of rejection and approach dating with confidence and courage.

Question 7: How Can I Deal with Sexual Temptation in Dating?

Sexual temptation is a powerful force that can derail even the strongest relationships. It's important to have a plan in place for dealing with these temptations and staying pure in your dating relationship.

Matt Chandler suggests several strategies for dealing with sexual temptation:

• Avoiding situations that could lead to temptation


• Setting boundaries and being clear about your expectations and values


• Praying for strength and guidance in resisting temptation


• Having accountability partners who can provide support and encouragement


• Focusing on building emotional and spiritual intimacy with your partner

By taking these steps, you can stay pure in your dating relationship and honor God with your bodies.

Question 8: How Can I Navigate the Challenges of Long-Distance Dating?

Long-distance dating can be particularly challenging, as it requires extra effort and intentionality to build and maintain emotional and spiritual intimacy with your partner.

Matt Chandler suggests several strategies for navigating the challenges of long-distance dating:

• Scheduling regular communication and quality time with your partner


• Being intentional about building emotional and spiritual intimacy through phone calls, video chats, and shared experiences


• Having a clear timeline and plan for when you will be able to be together in person


• Building a support network of friends and mentors who can provide guidance and accountability

By following these principles, you can overcome the challenges of long-distance dating and build a strong and healthy relationship with your partner.

Question 9: How Can I Know if I'm Ready to Date Again After a Breakup?

Breakups can be painful and difficult, and it's important to take time to heal and process before jumping back into the dating scene. However, it can be hard to know when you are ready to start dating again.

Matt Chandler suggests several factors to consider when deciding whether you are ready to date again:

• Have you taken time to heal and process your emotions from the breakup?


• Are you emotionally and spiritually mature enough to handle the challenges of dating?


• Are you ready to invest the time and effort required to build a healthy relationship?


• Have you sought guidance and accountability from friends and mentors?

By honestly evaluating these factors, you can gain a better understanding of whether you are ready to start dating again.

Question 10